AGING & AGEISM

HISTORICAL SURVEY OF AGING

( I am indebted to the book, From Age-ing to Sage-ing, by Rabbi Schacter-Shalomi, for some of the ideas in this paper.)

We can think of societal attitudes toward aging as having gone through three phases historically. From pre-history to the Industrial Revolution, elders constituted a very small proportion of society and had honored roles as spiritual leaders, political advisors, and teachers of the young. With the new emphasis on production and  consumption that accompanied the Industrial Revolution, elders lost their esteemed place in society. They became victims of gerontophobia-- an irrational fear of advanced age based on disempowering cultural stereotypes. Now, people are beginning to search for new models to ennoble the experience of old age.

During the first phase, elders were woven into the fabric of social life as political leaders, judges, sages, seers, guardians of tradition, transmitters of tradition and skills to the young. They served as bridge-builders from the past to the future. The Bible is lavish in praise of elders.

Among the ancient Greeks we find the sad beginnings of the gerontophobia that pervades the modern world. Their valuing of youthful heroism, physical perfection and beauty made them see aging as a catastrophy--a form of divine  punishment.

The ancient Romans recognized the wise counsel of elders, who carried great legal authority in the Senate. This word comes from the Latin "senex"= old man.

During the Middle Ages Christian writers gave a new twist to the predicament of old age. They viewed decrepitude as divine punishment visited on humankind because of Adam and Eve's disobedience in the Garden of Eden. People thought of physical life as a sacred pilgrimage with the destination of eternity and the promise of salvation in the world to come.

Beginning with the Renaissance, this conviction was eventually overcome. Modern Europeans began to think of themselves as individuals with their own unique destinies. They viewed life less as an earthly pilgrimage to God  and more as a career in the shape of a rising and falling staircase.This metaphor has dominated our thinking for the past several centuries.

CEREMONIES

I think we need more ceremonies! 

First, let's have a definition, so we all know what we're talking about. Here is what the American Heritage College Dictionary has to say: "A ceremony is a formal act or set of acts performed as prescribed by ritual or custom." My proposal does not exactly fit this definition, because I want to modify and/or invent some ceremonies, which are not prescribed in any way, except by me!

 

So--why do I think ceremonies are important?

During the last 100 years, American society has lost many of the institutions that gave it cohesiveness and held it together. With immigration by people from a wide variety of cultures, fall-off of membership in religious and civic groups, and increasing proliferation with accompanying fragmentation of interests, many elements that provided structure have disappeared. Under the influence of increasingly pervasive and sophisticated  mass media, we were in danger of becoming a purely consumer society, passively absorbing information and impressions. However, one good sign is that further development of those same mass media is bringing about a radical shift toward an interaction and participation by way of the Internet.

Since many rituals smacked of superstition and superficiality, rational thinking has discarded them, thus depriving us of the beneficial ones along with the nefarious.

So--what are the advantages of ceremonies?

Reinstating and/or revising those that are positive and helpful can help bring  balance in our lives between right- and left-brain activities, between thinking and feeling.

Ceremonies created anew by participants can be fresh, fun, and stimulating.

They can add dignity and meaning to what otherwise could be simply mundane transitions in life.

I have made a list of possible ceremonies  in another entry,"Life Passages".

I have also written  up my idea of a possible "Croning", stimulated by my attendance at one recently. Comments, additions, and/or deletions are welcome. 

A CRONING

One or more men/women take part.

The oldest female celebrant stands up in front of two guides: one man & one woman.

All women older than she stand up beside her.

She recites the names of her female ancestors, beginning with herself. 

She recites the names & ages of her offspring.

She tells her life story, decade by decade, illustrating with memorabilia.

She tells what she is leaving behind, then what she is entering into.

The elder women each hug her in turn, then all welcome her into their ranks as a new crone.

The next oldest celebrant stands up in front of guides.

All women older than she stand up beside her.

Proceed as above.

When all have finished, all women younger than any of the celebrants stand up & join the circle.

Men repeat the ceremony to become sages, one by one.

When the circle is complete, all hold hands, join in singing an appropriate song or chant of joyful celebration, move around the room in a circle.

Refreshments are served.

LIFE PASSAGES

birth--naming--baptism--child dedication

starting school

puberty--confirmation--bar/bat mitvah--coming of age

getting a driver's license

finishing high school--graduation--commencement

first job or starting college

attaining legal drinking age

engagement--betrothal--exchange of rings--commitment

marriage--wedding--domestic partnership

job or career change

becoming a parent--adopting

change of residence--housewarming

menopause--change of life

divorce--dissolution of marriage--becoming a widow/widower

life-changing illness

mourning

retirement--croning--saging

death--funeral--memorial service

year's anniversary of death--yahrzeit